sink or swim, do or die

Writing songs about scenarios that don’t even exist

It may end up being a catchy song, or a total disaster. But either way, it’s what I’m doing at the moment. And since my guitar isn’t with me now, I hum and record just so that I won’t forget how the tune would sound like.

I hate being broke. I hate it so much that I can’t sleep well at the thought of it. Not to forget the people I owe, I hope they won’t need the cash badly for now, cause I’m in desperate need for money. So do I get allowance some might ask?

Yes I do, and I get $50 every 2 weeks. Sounds good enough? Well, lets do some calculations. For e.g. 1 day = $5, 2 weeks = $70

Now that’s the basics. I’ve yet to include how much I might spend on weekends, plus how many packs of cigarettes I’d have to buy within the two weeks. Not to forget topping up my ez-link card. So now some ask how would I survive then?

Well in school, no matter how hungry I am, I’ll just buy a drink, or when I’m totally out of cash, do nothing. Just smoke a few ciggies, that’s if I have em’. But there’s also another situation, whereby my friends would offer to treat me lunch or dinner, or maybe a few cigarettes. It’s becoming a norm, and I am trying my best to not let it happen too often. I don’t want to trouble them, and I also don’t want them to think I’m taking advantage

On certain days, I don’t go to school, cause I’d rather save up my ez-link value for school the day after. Most of the time I’ll leave a bit early to walk to the bus interchange to take number 12 to school, cause it saves cost.

Why not ask my parents to raise the allowance or for more money? My dad’s the only one working, and what he can provide for the family is enough only for the 1st week after each payday(dad’s pay is every 2 weeks). Sometimes my parents sacrifice by giving me whatever cash they have left for pocket money, and they don’t even complain. Now, it’s a familiar situation. My family would have to survive on whatever food we have and on $6 till thursday or friday.

Now that’s the life I live. And I’m sure that it’s nothing compared to the lives of certain others, who face worse problems than me. Point is, if you have a better life than me, then don’t make up stories or act as if your life sucks just to have something to talk about to people or to seek sympathy from people, if you know what I mean.

So am I seeking sympathy by posting all this? No. I’m simply sharing it hopefully to remind people that if there aren’t much problems back home with the family, then don’t cause trouble or don’t fuck up the bond the family has. Be thankful with whatever you have, and stop making up stories to make your life sound interesting. As for the others who might face the same situation as me, stop groaning and carry on with life, by all means necessary. Cause that’s only the right thing to do.

Did I say I hate being broke?